Good evening nerds and
serial killers of the internet. One of the things I love to do is pull Christmas crackers and
see what tat awaits me inside. I think I bought this year's first box
of crackers in September, because that's how cool I am. Allow me to
show you some of the life-enhancing sundries me and the mister have
collected so far, along with the jokes, half of which make little to
no sense and were probably translated from Latvian or something.
2 dimensional plastic car
-
Good for sticking to the
window to make people think there is a flying car outside.
Joke -
“Q -Why do giraffes
get Christmas gifts every year?
A – They are so good
that they'll stick their necks out for anyone!”
Jigsaw -
Sorry for the spoiler, but
it's going to be a parrot -
The warning label is not
part of the finished jigsaw.
Unfortunately, I couldn't
do it, and had to get the mister to help me. This makes me sad.
Joke -
“Q – If athletes
get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
A – Missile Toe”
Mistletoe – geddit? Me
neither.
Cookie
cutters -
A
Christmas tree and a bellend.
Joke -
“Q – Which of
Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
A – 'Rude'-olph!”
Rubber
-
Cue
giggling from my American readers because I got a rubber.
Joke -
“Q – What do you
get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A – Frostbite!”
Comb -
I love
combs. Who doesn't? Unfortunately, the mister has decided to own this
one to comb his beard, so he can look even more swish.
Joke -
“Q – How do you
stop a skunk smelling?
A – Hold its nose!”
Jumping
frog -
Nothing
remotely bad to say about this – everyone loves jumping frogs.
Especially when they are yellow.
Joke -
“Q – What's an
airline pilot's favourite crisps?
A – Plain.”
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