SUPER VALOUR!

I was trawling through some kind of random discount shop in Bangor, when I came across this package of wonderment -

This playset is, I'm sure, at the top of every child's Christmas list this year. I can just hear their eager little voices now -

Kid - "Muuuuuuuuuuum, please can I have SUPER VALOUR SPECIALLY COMPETE STRIKE QUICKLY 4?"

Mum - "I think you should stop drinking so much fizzy pop."

I have no idea what the name is supposed to mean -

Also, the figures do not match the package art. The cardboard backing shows some kind of military special ops dudes, and what the package actually contains is a pair of traffic cops/strippergrams. Let's take a closer look at these guys -

Firstly we have a cop whose shoulders are as wide as his legs are long. I'm going to call him Jim -

Jim's partner - Bill Murray who can't stand up -

The guys have a bewildering array of guns, grenades and bondage gear -

Also from this angle, Bill Murray looks like Jim's small child rather than his partner.

And holy hell look at the size of Jim's gun, the guy sure is ripped to be able to carry that around -

But when these two are off fighting crime in my head, I like to imagine that it's Bill Murray who's the real hero. Jim might have the muscles, but Bill Murray uses his super intelligence or x-ray vision or something, and saves the day. I hate to think of him just being in the office, making the tea.