At school a girl had many potential status symbols, but
perhaps chief among these was her pencil case and its contents. Your pencil
case was constantly on display for all to see, and as such had to have a
certain amount of thought put into it.
I'll take you through the contents of my pencil case,
explaining why each item was a must have.
The pencil case -
Either a cloth pencil case or a pencil tin were acceptable. I
had an ace Jelly Babies pencil tin; sadly I can't even find a picture of one
these days. If anyone has one, please send me your address so I can come round
and steal it.
A pencil tin should be hinged rather than have a separate
lid, as the lid will invariably go missing, or get stolen by Ben Richardson.
Cloth pencil cases should be made of fabric that's easy to write on; not only
can you the 'mark your territory', as it were, but, like a plaster cast,
others' contributions will show off your popularity. Unless they write “Jenny
is fat and smells of wee.”
you could write on a pencil tin too, but the writing had to
be etched in with a compass – not the easiest or safest move for clumsy hands
to master.
Pencil -
Only two kinds of standard pencil were acceptable – either
the yellow and black striped model issued by most schools, or a pencil with
cartoon characters/ponies/lovehearts on. No extra points for glitter, because
the glitter will stay on the pencil for approximately two minutes after
purchase.
Ultimate status symbol – the retractable pencil
Although always snapping, therefore not much good for actual
writing, the engineering genius behind these made them jaw-droppingly
impressive.
Felt tips -
As many different colours as possible, including some as yet
undiscovered by science. The ultimate felt tips to own were made by Molin. The
old models looked different from the above picture, having white lids with
rounded ends. Usually came in packs of about five thousand, in every possible
shade contained in the visual spectrum. Care then had to be taken over which
colours would win a place in your pencil case, since you could only
realistically carry about ten at a time. This didn't matter too much, as it was
generally recognised that if you had some Molin pens, you had thousands more at
home.
Honourable mentions – Crayola felt tips, Berol felt tips
Pencil sharpener -
This was the standard model; sometimes you'd have a
double-holed sharpener, although there was really no point to this. However,
you were down for some serious respect if you owned one of these, complete with
pull out tray for your sharpenings -
I'm not sure what the rules were for owning both a handled
sharpener and a retractable pencil. I think the sharpener trumped the pencil,
but I could be wrong.
Eraser -
not just one eraser, but many, many erasers. Ideally stored
in a shoebox at home, your eraser collection was another thing capable of
awarding instant cool points. In your collection, you must have -
one shaped like a hot dog
one with a magic, ink erasing side (that never worked)
ones that smelled of fruit
rectangular ones with cartoon characters stamped on them
all others were optional, but certainly never did any harm.
Of course, you couldn't bring your entire collection to school in one go, so
the trick was to bring a few ones every day, displaying them nonchalantly.
Ruler -
There were two rulers to, erm, rule them all, if you'll
pardon the pun. These were the water ruler, and the 'shatterproof' ruler (bonus
points for coloured plastic rather than clear).
Honourable mention – rulers with letter stencils cut into
them (ultimately useless as you were supposed to be practising your joined-up
writing).
Fountain pen -
The ULTIMATE status symbol – you were nothing without one of
these. Not only did it mark you out as grown up enough to be trusted with an
ink pen, but the cartridges proved to be invaluable trade fodder (see #7).
Ink colour didn't matter so much, although blue was sometimes
favoured over black. Designs varied, but patterned was usually preferred to
plain. If you must have a plain pen, make it a good colour such as pink or mint
green.
Ink cartridges -
This is where the pencil tin comes into its own, because it
allows you to have your cartridges stored neatly in a row at one end, whereas
with a pencil case they have no choice but to move around, getting lost.
Ink cartridges were a kind of currency, being traded for such
delights as erasers, friendship bracelets, and different colour ink cartridges.
Other uses of ink cartridges included throwing them at people, and
cutting/biting the tops off to see what was inside (usually ink).
Pencil sharpenings/wax crayon sharpenings -
At the bottom of every pencil case - no exceptions. The
difference between the two is that pencil sharpenings were rubbish and got
there by accident, whereas wax crayon sharpenings were made on purpose. When
the girls on your table got bored of doing work, you would get out your pencil
sharpeners and continue with your “glitter making” project – collecting fucking
tons of crayon shavings in every conceivable colour, then mixing them together
to make some kind of really crappy “glitter”. We never did anything with this
“glitter”, and it usually just got swept away by an annoyed teacher/caretaker.
Notes -
Before every child had an iphone with MSN and Facebook as
standard, these were the primary method of communication regarding confidential
matters. These notes concerned things like “Do you love Joe L? YES/NO”, “Angela
smells, pass it on”, and “Everyone throw stuff at Angela when I say go”.
Although this last move was risky, as quite often you just got all your stuff confiscated.
Optional extras -
stickers
tiny key rings shaped like teddy bears
friendship bracelets
a pot of Boots 'Natural Collection' lip balm, which you've
had for years, and which gives everyone coldsores.
No comments:
Post a Comment