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Friday, 22 June 2012

Rainbow - it ain't half hot Geoffrey

It's Summer! I may have been a bit late with that observation. But as such it's time for the Rainbow gang to celebrate the hottest day known to man. Before I start, I should like to declare that my pen has run off, so I am writing the draft of this using my 'Longford Intermediate School' pencil (where is Longford?). Fuck you pen, see if I care.

This is a good episode if you fancy Geoffrey (which I do not) because you can see his legs, all the way up to the top of his legs -

For everyone normal - consider it a warning *

This episode is called "Hot Day", and is about a day that's hot. Some stuff happens, but mostly everyone is hot.

We start off in the garden - the gang are so hot they decide to set up a nudist colony -

Just kidding - I'll explain that clip in a later post

Hot Day part 1 -


Zippy is lying there looking like a pimp, and George is wearing 3D glasses for some reason.

“Come and make some sand pies with me Zippy”

“What? Oh fuck off George you massive git.”

Enter Geoffrey in hotpants, carrying a huge diphagram -

Zippy has lost his sun hat, and will surely DIE.

Bungle comes out, looking like a hairy gay Aladdin. Ha, Zippy shares my sentiments.

Absolute comedy gold coming up here. Bungle has a hose. Can you guess what's about to happen? That's right – Bungle acts like a twat. Zippy's laugh is phenomenal.

Then we have a disturbing Lines and Shapes involving a boy doing a striptease. Not cool.

The gang all complain about the heat, claiming it's difficult to breathe. If you're that hot, Bungle, you might want to consider taking that ridiculous bear suit off.

Once again the hose is brought into play, but this time it's Zippy's idea so it's not a twattish thing to do. Guess who gets wet again? This really is a dream episode for Geoffrey fangirls (which I am most definitely not).**

Geoffrey the wet T shirt model then shows us how to make the worst sun hat in the entire world. I think he actually has to glue it onto Zippy's head to get it to stay on.

Zippy, quite reasonably, asks for a drink on account of how he's choking due to the heat. Geoffrey denies this harmless request, insisting that he must first fulfil his role of washerwoman. The heat causes Geoffrey to lose his rag – you've never seen anger like it. Not really – his voice just raises the tiniest amount, and then he immediately begs for forgiveness. What a guy!

Bungle toddles off to get the drinks, which he could have just fucking done in the first fucking place.

Part two!

Some people on the beach, and doing summery things in general (not rioting though).

Back to the plot - more Geoffrey porn, and Bungle has decided to remedy the 'being too hot' situation by putting more clothes on.

"Gone for a dip in the pool." Seriously? Bungle went for a dip in the pool? Have you seen the size of A) Bungle and B) the pool? What did he do, dip his toe in?

George and Geoffrey then talk about being all hot and sticky. This episode is pure filth. Geoffrey fangirls (one of which I am not) will surely have had to change their undergarments by now.***

Thank goodness we now have a musical interlude - I don't think I could have taken much more of the one man sexorama. Rod Jane and Freddy perform a toe tapping jaunty number about how it was sunny and now it's raining. I'm not sure why Jane is a ghost -

Back to the garden, and the gang are just about to have a 'picnic on the lawn', when a strange woman jumps out from behind the washing. The gang apparently know her, so are unfazed by this. I think she has a nightie on.

Bungle, in a massive ass-fucking of logic, runs inside to put his dressing gown on, because he's worried about a lady seeing him in only his pants. I don't have to explain why this is insane to anyone who has ever seen Rainbow. To those of you who haven't seen Rainbow - why is it insane? Fuck you, that's why.

Guess what today's story is about. Go on, guess.

After the strange woman has finished crapping on about hot weather and elephants, it starts to rain and the gang panics. except it's not raining, it's just Bungle dicking about with the hose again. In his dressing gown. And his Aladdin hat. Bungle might be having a nervous breakdown. I certainly am.

Then it really does start to rain, so the gang grab the washing and run inside. And here we find a convenient place to say bye bye.

*I feel really mean for implying that Geoffrey is ugly. I didn't mean that, I just meant that I personally do not fancy him.
**I'm sure there are ladies that do fancy Geoffrey.
***I really do feel very mean.

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