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Thursday, 21 November 2013

Pound shop Transformers – there should be a society against this kind of cruelty

Another excursion to the pound shop, to buy this monstrosity -

I think it's meant to be some sort of Transformer.

This is less 'robots in disguise', more 'robots in terrible pain'. I'm pretty sure if this guy had a speech chip, he'd say “please god help me, kill me now, put me out of my misery.”

I have proof that the robot is meant to be hideously deformed -

Also, what kind of name is Knuckle breaker? That's far too Kray twins for my liking. What are his friends called – Kneecap Smasher and Eyeball Gouger?

He has a pet too -

A cat that I think he's meant to ride, but which is about the same size as his head, so it just looks like he's picking the cat up by his muscular thighs -

In case you're wondering, our friend transforms into some kind of plane. But the mister did it then undid it, and now I can't get him to be a plane again. Never mind, I'm sure you'll cope.

I don't think the cat has a name, so I'm going to call him Larry. Fuck it, I'm going to rename Knuckle Breaker too, because the poor guy deserves a chance in life. I'm going to call him Malcolm. Malcolm Smytheson.

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